{R-2}Paradise on E(DJzAIKz)[6/15/12]

[Saphira]

Song Name: Paradise on E
Artist: BOUNC3
Permissions: CC artist can be found on newgrounds

Stepcloud: Hard|Medium|Easy|Beginner

[Saphira]

Possible permission issue, even though the artist is CC when giving permission to FFR it was specified that this song could not be stepped. I'm locking this until we get confirmation that it is okay to use this song.

[Saphira]

Artist gave permission, thread re-opened.

[Saphira]

(T) Technique - sim author's skills in pattern manipulation
(S) Sync - offset, BPM shifts, no misrhythms (obvious errors)
(I) Interpretation/Expression - creativity and imagination in translating the music, evoking meaningfulness in the file
(E) Engagement - fun, replayable and shows no signs of dragging the player along
(F) Flow - matching scales/chord progression, proper structure to the file, good transitions
(A) Additional deductions

Hard: 3/3/3/2/2/(0) [13/15]

Beginning to 24.774 I love the minifreeze accenting you have here.
40.585 to 51.936 I'm not a huge fan of the jacks but they do fit the song. I think there may be one or two that are a little longer than they should be. You may wanna check that.
77.881 to 90.854 the slowdown is very fitting here, nice job.
You did a pretty nice job on this, I'd say this is probably your best work thus far with charting. The jacks do feel like a bit of a spike to me considering the overall difficulty of the chart though.

Medium: 2/3/3/3/2/(0) [13/15]

You did a pretty nice job on this one as well but from 40.585 to 51.936 I recommend using some friendlier patterns. Right now they feel a bit jagged at times and being that this is the med chart you should try to use some easier patterns that give a nice flow.

Easy: 3/3/3/3/2/(0) [14/15]

Nicely done, the only thing I was iffy about was the two long 8th freezes.

Beginner: 2/3/3/2/3/(0) [13/15]

Under the 2tps rule, works fine for a beginner chart.

[Vote4DJz]

I'll improve this

[Vote4DJz]

Resubmission sent

[Saphira]

Resubmission posted. I actually put it up a bit ago and totally forgot to post that I did it lol.

[BerryPunch]

(T) Technique - sim author's skills in pattern manipulation
(S) Sync - offset, BPM shifts, no misrhythms (obvious errors)
(I) Interpretation/Expression - creativity and imagination in translating the music, evoking meaningfulness in the file
(E) Engagement - fun, replayable and shows no signs of dragging the player along
(F) Flow - matching scales/chord progression, proper structure to the file, good transitions
(A) Additional deductions

please fix the beat 0 issue !
You just have to add silence to your mp3 with audacity and change the offset so that the first arrow is not on the first beat. http://thirdstyle.com/forum/showthre...e-beat-0-issue

Hard : 3/3/2/2/3/(0) [13/15]

Beginning to 24.774 : I'd love to see some pitch relevancy with the freezes.
28.017 : move this one from left to down
30.348 : move this one from up to down
32.477 : change the direction of this one, unless you really want to keep the 3-note jackhammer.
34.504 : move this one from up to down
40.990 : move this one from up to down
43.321 : move this one from up to down
47.476 : move this one from down to left
There are other spots in the jackhammer part where you can improve pitch relevancy.
I like the slowdown too.

I think this can be still improved but it is good enough for me : Light Accept

Medium : 3/3/3/3/3/(0) [15/15]

26.396 - 38.963 and 39.369 - 51.936 : I'd swith the position of those two parts. The easier one before.
63.287 - 64.706 : I'd put a 16th stream here, a two-handed trill for example... and keep the 8th stream for Easy.

You did a really nice job on this one, I like it a lot. ACCEPTED

Easy : 3/3/2/1/3/(-1) [11/15]

15.405, 18.288, 21.531 : I'd add a double or something here
63.287 - 64.909 : why not a 8th stream here ?
65.314 - 77.881 : the whole part is draggy. you put 16th on Medium, you can use 8th notes here on Easy
91.259 - end : really draggy part too, you should try to improve it

Difficulty spike on the 8th stream, and then nothing Fixes Requested

Beginner : 3/3/3/2/3/(-3) [11/15]

26.193 - 37.544 : what do these 8th stand for ? (-3)

Everything elese was pretty good.... except the 8th part.... Fixes Requested

[Saphira]

Berry I may be wrong, but it looks like you are deducting points for subjective things. We don't want to do that.

Also a 3 point deduction for a minor thing is quite extreme.

[Halogen-]

(T) Technique - sim author's skills in pattern manipulation
(S) Sync - offset, BPM shifts, no misrhythms (obvious errors)
(I) Interpretation/Expression - creativity and imagination in translating the music, evoking meaningfulness in the file
(E) Engagement - fun, replayable and shows no signs of dragging the player along
(F) Flow - matching scales/chord progression, proper structure to the file, good transitions
(A) Additional deductions

{R} Paradise on E (DJzAIKz)
beat 0 offset

Hard: 2/3/2/3/3/(0) [13/15] - Accepted
- subtle pitch relevancy in the introduction could be improved to be a bit more accurate; the very small freezes are a nice touch, and I like the repeated taps for the bass drum
- 28.017 to 51.936: the jacks work with the song nicely, but there are a few spots where it can be slightly more accurate. 28.017 can be improved by making the third arrow the same as the first two (more pitch relevant). This happens a few times, like at 34.504, 40.990, and 47.476 as well. There's also a few smaller jacks that have a similar issue where the second note should be the same as the first. Look around and listen carefully.
- 38.963 to 51.936: this is alright as is, but it's almost the same as the first half. If you want to make it slightly less repetitive, you could consider filling the blank spaces at 39.166, 39.571, 42.409 (etc) with 8th notes to count the hi-hat, since it makes an introduction.
- 64.909 to 77.881: not bad at all. The freezes are interesting because they hit only the most accented notes.
- 77.881 to 90.854: ahahahahaha, this slowdown is going to make people so mad. It fits so well, though.
- 90.854 to end: these freezes are slightly confusing. It looks like you're following the really soft melody in the background, which is alright -- however, that melody plays straight 8th notes from beginning to end.
- it's nice to see you trying something a bit different in terms of stepping style; it's working

Medium: 2/3/3/3/3/(0) [14/15] - Strongly Accepted
- chart is easy to understand overall
- 29.234 to 38.355: lots of zig-zag/scaling patterns. Play around a bit more with patterns - if you can, try to make it more relevant to the music.
- 39.774 to 51.936: repeated 8th notes are a very nice touch

Good file. Fix up 29.234 to 38.355 and I would say that it's perfectly executed overall.

Easy: 3/3/2/3/3/(0) [14/15] - Strongly Accepted
- absolutely nothing wrong with the chart structure
- a few tricky 8th note patterns on easy, but nothing unmanageable
- very appropriate difficulty drop compared to Medium

Beginner: 3/2/2/3/3/(0) [13/15] - Conditionally Accepted
first tap: 0.045; last tap: 103.016; length: 102.971; taps: 95; NPS: 0.92

- within NPS threshold, albeit a little low
- the 8th notes in this chart do not work well, and here's why: when a person is new at a rhythm game, they typically follow very easy to hear sounds. Here, you're following something with 8th notes that a new player is likely not going to understand.
- outside of the 8th notes, this chart is alright.
- remove 8th at 12.410, and rewrite 26.193 to 37.544, and I'll accept this Beginner chart.

[BerryPunch]

Which points ?

On Hard I pointed out pitch relevancy issues
On Medium, well I really enjoyed it but I really think the beginning with the drum is well done, and the pattern change on 39.369 - 51.936 too...
On the Easy, I really think the chart could be more balanced, there is the part with the 8th that follow the melody, and then it's 4th until the end....
On Beginner, the 3 points I removed are because I really find those 8th are innapropriate and kill the chart... Otherwise, it's a good beginner chart.

Also when I wrote "26.396 - 38.963 and 39.369 - 51.936 : I'd switch the position of those two parts. The easier one before." on Medium, it's a suggestion

I'm afraid of being subjective since I started the reviews here So maybe I am, but I'm trying to avoid that, I know a review must not be subjective.

[Saphira]

There's nothing wrong with mentioning things that are subjective, but it's not good to deduct points based on it. Like with easy you deduct a total of 4 points but don't really have objective notes on it.

(Basically if you're going to be rejecting a chart, make sure you have objective reasons as to why you're deducting that many points)

[BerryPunch]

Okay, I'll try to be clearer and more exhaustive next time
Thanks

[Saphira]

Just did a play through on the resubmission.

You made some really nice fixes, aside from adding the 8ths to beginner. Actually I'm not sure why you changed beginner, it was good as it was. But this is definitely your best work charting thus far. You still have accepts from me on hard, med and easy, but I have to conditional you for the beat 0 issue (sorry I didn't pick up on that my 1st review, I was slightly rushing) as well as the 8th notes on beginner.

So as of right now all you need in order to be fully accepted is a beat 0 fix and the fix to the 8th note section on beginner. All other suggestions are up to you whether you take them or not.

[Vote4DJz]

Thanks for the reviews. Will be fixed soon

[Saphira]

{R-2}posted

[BerryPunch]

I looked at the {R-2}...

So :

Hard :
The jackhammer part was modified, and it works fine with me, the 2-note jacks are a bit easier to play, so I guess that reduce a bit the difficulty of this part, which is not a bad thing actually. Still accepted

Medium :
No major changes except some pattern changes on 26.801 to 38.963. Still accepted of course

Easy :
Non modified.

Beginner :
Fixed the 8th notes ---> ACCEPTED

Also..... beat 0 issue is still present

[Vote4DJz]

I'll fix the beat 0 when this file have 2 accepts cuz Kayla said I can only send 3 resubmissions.Thanks

[Saphira]

Berry are you fully accepting or only beginner?


DJ, from now on make sure you take care of beat 0 before submitting. Technically beat 0 is grounds for an auto reject without judgement, we've been lenient with it thus far, but we're going to start enforcing rules more.

[BerryPunch]

Hard, Medium and Beginner fully accepted...
And Easy accepted too, I don't want to appear hypocrite but I thought about it after my review.